DIVORCE AGREEMENT Between Republicans & Democrats

WRITTEN BY:  A YOUNG COLLEGE STUDENT

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,

Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together   since the late 1950's for the sake of the

kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me

realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many

years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship

has clearly run its course. Our two ideological sides of America

cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let's

just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to

irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is our separation agreement: --Our two groups can equitably

divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That

will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a

friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our

respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since

both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

--We don't like re-distributive taxes so you can keep them.

--You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU

--Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the

NRA, and the military.

--We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and the coal mines, and

you can go with wind, solar and bio-diesel

--You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are,

however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to

move all three of them.

--We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical

companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.

--You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps,

hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens.

--We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEOs, and rednecks

We’ll keep Hannity, Carlson, and Bibles, and give you NBC, CNN, ABC,

CBS, and Hollywood

--You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right

to invade and hammer places that threaten us.

--You can have the peaceniks and war protesters.

--When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll help

provide them security.

—We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.

--You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political

correctness and Shirley McClain. You can also have the UN. but we will

no longer pay the bill.

--We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You

can take every Volt, Tesla, and Leaf you can find.

--You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.

--We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The National Anthem."

--I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine," "I'd Like to Teach

the World to Sing," "Kumbaya “or” We Are the World."

--We'll practice trickle-down economics and you can continue to give

trickle up poverty your best shot.

--Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this?   If so, please pass it along to other

like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree,

just hit delete.   In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you

might think about which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J Wall

Law Student and American!

P. S.  Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin & Charlie

Sheen, George Clooney, Barbara Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you.

P.S.S. And you won't have to press 1 for English when you call our country.